About Stephen

Like all of us, I am several different people - some more modern than others. Here is an overview of my many identities as a man, from work-life and personal-life.

I provide a free guidance and advisory relationship service to individuals around the world, mostly via email. If you have questions or issues you'd like to discuss, totally confidentially and if you wish, anonymously, about a past, present or future relationship then please contact me. Whoever you are, wherever you live, whatever your concern, if I can help, I will.

Over the past seven years I have done hundreds of television, radio and newspaper interviews, across five continents. Consequently, there isn't much I haven't been asked about men, women, love, sex and relationships. Though I certainly don't claim to have all the answers!

Having been a regular rider myself on the sex, love and relationship roller-coaster, and written and researched it just as intensely, I have lots of experience and understanding of the complexities of modern relationships. I have had cross-cultural relationships, been married several times and had a number of big relationships in my life. I am now married to a Thai woman and living in northern Thailand, so I am well-qualified to help – or just to listen.

Visit me on www.thedatediary.co.uk to find out more about my humorous, but insightful, observations on men, women and the dating game.

Between 1997 and 2008 I was a Senior Lecturer in Education and Sociology at Keele University, UK, where, amongst other roles, I was Director of the Keele MBA Education programme. Before that I was a manager at Thomas Danby Further Education College, Leeds, UK (Programme Manager for Leisure, Sport and Tourism). And before that I was a manager with Allied Domecq PLC in the north of England (managing Tetley's Cavalier Steak Bars). In 1996 I successfully completed my PhD (Men Managers in Further Education) at Leeds Metropolitan University.

In 2008 I took early retirement, though as a Research Fellow at Keele University I continue to supervise postgraduate and doctoral students

I am now lecturing part-time at Payap University in Chiang Mai, the oldest private university in Thailand. The programme is titled ‘Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Transformation in Thai Society' and is part of Payap University's South East Asian Studies programme www.ic.payap.ac.th

I have presented at academic conferences in universities around the world, and been invited to do lectures and plenary addresses at The National University of Singapore; Cambridge University; Toronto University; Thammasat University; Bangkok; Pec University, Hungary; University of Oslo; Asian Institute of Technology, Bangkok; Calgary University; Lancaster University.

During my academic career I have been fortunate enough to research and publish with some of the world's leading sociologists and researchers into gender, men and masculinities and help countless numbers of undergraduate and postgraduate students to succeed in their studies.

My published work includes:

The Many Faces of Men (now translated into 15 languages)

Men and Masculinities (One of the most comprehensive text books on men ever written and a best seller since its publication in 2002)

The Masculinities Reader (best selling text book co-edited with Frank Barrett)

Men, Women, Love and Romance (takes you under the covers of the bedroom revolution)

Managing Professional Identities (Unique collection of essays written by some of the world's leading organisational theorists, co-edited with Mike Dent)

Men and Masculinities: Critical Concepts in Sociology (This five volume reader contains all the main writings on men and masculinities published since the late 1970s)

**COMING SOON** Women Undressed: The Definitive Guide To Modern Woman (A provocative and fascinating insight into the lives, minds and identities of modern women, co-written with Rachael McNicol, and only available as a download on this site).

Transforming Managers (Stephen's first book, published in 1999, and co-edited with Roy Moodley)

See also my academic articles published in Discourse; Gender, Work and Organisation; Gender and Education; Policy Studies; Gender Studies; Journal of Further and Higher Education; Public Policy Review; International Journal of Management in Education; The Sociological Review.

Current writing projects:

The Buddha in the Bedroom: The Buddhist Guide to Sex, Love and Relationships (Stephen's exciting new writing project, co-written with Eva Pascal – Enlightenment awaits!)

Gender and Identity: Introduction and New Directions (co-written with Roy Moodley of Toronto University, this accessible, wide ranging academic text book explores all the key theories and social aspects concerning gender and identity)

In 2004 I ordained as a Buddhist (Theravada) monk at a temple in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand. Since then I have lived as a monk (layman) on numerous occasions in Thailand, and travelled with monks into Burma. My journey into Buddhism has been enlightening and enriching. I still have many things to learn and the path is not always easy, but I would recommend it to anyone. I pray and meditate most days and find it to be a calming, grounding influence on every aspect of my being. I make a strong attempt to follow the five main Buddhist precepts and this moral code is the one I aim to utilise not only in my private life, but also in my work as a writer, relationship coach/advisor, and teacher.

These connections come together particularly strongly in my current writing project with Eva Pascal (Payap University, Chiang Mai), titled ‘The Buddha in the Bedroom'. Our aim in this book is to bridge the gap between contemporary concerns over love and relationships and ancient Buddhist philosophy and teaching. As Eva and I emphasise, many people think that Buddha had little to say about sex, love and relationships. In fact, he had much to say and all of it highly relevant to our 21st century lives.

If you would like to know more about my experiences of Buddhism or share with me any aspect of Buddhist writing, practice or philosophy, please contact me

'Only when our minds are quiet are we truly awake

'The idea of a true self is merely a comforting illusion'

'Do not be slavish to any ideology'

I was born in August 1949, in Southport, England. I moved to Leeds when I was 25. I returned to live in Lancashire when I was 46, which is where I live whenever I am in the UK.

I left school just before my 15th birthday (Southport Technical School) and went to work in my family's florist shop in Southport. I managed this shop until I was 22 when I left to set up my own restaurant in Preston with my wife, Rosemary.

My first educational qualification of any sort was a Sports Coaching Diploma in HE from Carnegie College, Leeds Polytechnic (1983). By 1997 I had a Postgraduate Teaching Qualification (PGCE), MA (Sociology), and a PhD.

I have been fortunate enough to experience many aspects of life, love and relationships, in fact far too many, and personal, to go into here! But briefly, I first got married when I was 21, and now live with my fourth wife, who is Thai, in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I have five children aged 9 to 36 (the youngest my stepdaughter), a very mischievous Beagle named Ben and a chilled out Tsi Tzu named Belle.

Other identities: Athletics Coach (BAAB Senior and Yorkshire Regional Coach for middle and long distance running, 1983 – 1990). Drummer and guitarist with various minor pop groups in Merseyside, back in the 1960s. Manager for Tetley's Cavalier Steak Bars: Leeds (The Jubilee) and Horsforth (The Woodside Tavern), 1976-1986.